{bellasoul's blog}

My heart hurts...

Today I talked with a good friend & after I told her what happened on Friday she said that when a man is in his late thirties, not settled down with a woman & sleeps with several women, is because he's trying to prove his manhood. Because deep down, he's gay, or bisexual, but doesn't want to admit it to himself, come out of the closet if you will. I didn't think he was gay, but as what she told me started to sink in, I realized there were a few instances where he would throw red flags.. He would project that someone was gay, & that one recent instance (a week ago) was when he saw this picture of me & my friend Mario who I went out on a date with, he said 'Yeah he's good looking, he has nice lips, if I was a girl I would fuck him.. I'm serious'. I really thought that was VERY strange for a straight man to say something like that, because a straight man just wouldn't even go there. Then I thought back when we were at Ra Sushi one time, he kept looking at this guy & asked me if I thought he was good looking, he said 'He has nice features huh?' & I kept thinking, 'why is he looking at guys while he's with me? wtf?' but I just chose to ignore it because I was in love with him. One of his good guy friends is from Austin when he was in college, & his guy friend is gay, so who knows if he experimented.

I can't believe I didn't see this sooner, but then again I could be wrong. Regardless, what he did to me was wrong. There was no need for him to call the cops on me.. that's just ridiculous. He was using the cops as an excuse to lie to the girl he was seeing, to make her think that he really didn't know me. Thankfully, she didn't fall for it & left him. My heart hurts so much because I knew what kind of man he was, but I chose to keep seeing him. I always choose to see the best in people, despite their flaws.. despite the times I've seen the truth.. I still love them. How can I expect him to be honest with me, when he's not even honest with himself? He's in denial.

I'm so lucky & thankful that I didn't go to jail because he's not even worth it. My life would've been ruined, over what, drama & a guy who is just trash, who doesn't know how to treasure when he has something good with someone.

Today was a hard day for me, because I usually see him during the week. I know as time goes on, it will get better.. for now I'm just picking up the broken pieces...

Drama!! - He is so busted

So I almost got arrested last night. I showed up at papi's place after having 2 drinks at Gloria's restaurant since he wasn't responding to my texts. I get there & he wouldn't open the door. He was saying 'I don't know you'. I found it amusing & I almost left but then I decided to knock on the door again. He wouldn't open the door & said he called the cops. I needed to know if he had someone at his place & that's why he wouldn't let me in so I said somethings to provoke him to come outside & once he did, the girl came out & asked 'Who's that?', I said to him he's such a liar & he got busted. He told her to go back inside & she did. He told me that the cops were on their way & as he was walking back in I started walking towards him & he pushed me hard by the throat. I couldn't believe he did this & I was furious. The cops get there & I told them what was going on & how he pushed me. They asked me if I had been drinking & I told them I was, & they asked if there was someone who could pick me up. I called my neighbor & I wasn't able to get a hold of her. Finally, I called my parents & they came. The cops took me home & the other cop drove my car to my apt since I was just down the street. My parents got to my place & once they got there the cops left.

I really got lucky because I could've gone to jail for dwi so I'm really glad that that did not happen, especially since he is not worth it. I learned a lot of lessons last night & found out a few things about him from the cops because they mentioned that he's had issues before by them having to come out there. One of the cops told me that papi dated one of his friends, & I asked what her name was & he told me. Then later, he said that that girl that was inside actually left papi's place, & it was his friend. He said he talked to her over the phone & she said that at first she wanted to believe him & he kept lying that he didn't know me & then she didn't buy it & left. I honestly did not remember seeing her leave, but I'm glad that she witnessed that he is a player & was doing us both wrong. They said that he's a controlling man, who lies, uses his cars to appeal to women & when he says he's gonna be with the boys, he's really out with some girl. The cop said that even his guy friends are not really his friends because they don't like him. It was crazy how much they knew about him. He is just BAD NEWS!

I'm so happy that I'm moving on & it's sad but sometimes we have to see for ourselves the ugly truth so that we can finally move the fuck on. I just know that he's not getting any younger since he's almost 40 & he's gonna end up alone because no real woman will put up with him.. if she does then she's stupid & has a whole lot of unhappiness ahead of her. That will not be me!

 

Katy Perry Collection by O●P●I

I finally got the Katy Perry Collection & I've had fun combining the colors & using the Shatter polish that comes out solid black & as the polish dries it starts to crackle. Right now I have on 'Not Like The Movies' & I really like it because it looks silver/gray & then like a purple polish with a touch of glitter. The next one I'm gonna use is 'Last Friday Night' which is the sparkly blue one. You can never go wrong w/glitter or sparkly :)

See the full gallery on Posterous

Awesome Easter weekend!

I'm super elated! I can hardly contain my joy :):):) so here's the nitty gritty...

The past few months have been a struggle while I started looking for a job, joined Mary Kay while unemployed, moved to my new apartment in December, started new job in January & started changing my lifestyle (which also includes changing my circle of friends). My job is great, my new apartment I'm settled into, my Mary Kay team started growing, my circle of friends are just what I needed & I love them so dearly, but all the while I had this debt piling up with my car & I was getting to a really rough situation that I wasn't sure how I was gonna get out of it, but I knew I had to do something, something had to give. So on Wednesday night, I couldn't sleep for about 2 hours. I figured I would call my friend David in the morning to tell him that I really need his help with trading my car in since he's a car salesman. The past year, year & a half I knew I had to get rid of this car because for one, I bought it on impulse. I was a college graduate & thought I would treat myself to my dream car, when in reality I was living above my means & not being realistic. I didn't make a deal, I was naive & took whatever the salesman gave me & basically I got ripped off because I bought the car at full retail price.. never ever ever!!! again!!!! I think it was around $23K for a 5 yr note. So my payment was $500! & add insurance on top of that, more like $600.

So on Thursday, my friend David helped me out & found me a deal with this 2004 Honda Accord he had on the lot & I got to lower my payment by half! I was off on Good Friday, so I went to see the car & make the deal official, took the car for a test drive & I knew I was making the right decision, even though I admit I was scared to make this change but knew that I had to because I couldn't keep living like I had been. I got such a great deal, the car was around $10K, I had some positive equity on my current car that I was able to carry over into this car as a down payment of $2,000. When I called my insurance to add the car & remove the other one, I found out I was going to save $115 over my 6 month policy! I was even more excited & surprised of how much money I'll be saving. The car is so smooth the way it drives, I feel so grown up. I almost feel like this downgrade was an upgrade because I went from a Civic to an Accord.. even though it's an older model than the Civic. What's also odd is that this car is the exact same color, and model that my exboyfriend Sidney had a few years ago, except his was a 2005. I'm getting my windows tinted on Monday so I'm really excited about that because Texas summer weather is NO JOKE! It gets so hot you could fry your eggs on a dashboard :) So here are some pics of my happy ass on Good Friday, lol.

Now I can breathe again!! I can save money! I am such a happy girl!!!

Hair Products Must Have

One of my fellow online friends asked me what are some good hair products to use to keep hair shiny & healthy. So instead of responding with a looooong response, I thought I should make it into a post. Some of these products I have used, some I'm about to try. The ones I'm gonna try were suggestions from another friend & I thought to pass it along to you.

When I've gone to salons to get my hair done, my stylist would finish off my hairstyle with Biosilk Silk Therapy. I really loved the way it smelled & saw how nice of a finish it gave my hair to keep any frizzy ends from coming out & it gave it a nice shiny look. I haven't used it myself, but I think this is one product that I will get soon.

Moroccan oil is a must! I've heard about it from a friend & I tried it late last year & I loved it. My hair was soooo soft & shiny, I felt like I got it done at the hair salon. The only drawback is that after a day or so your hair will get oily & weighed down because of the oil. Maybe I was using too much of it, but I couldn't help it cuz I loved the coconut smell.

A friend recommended the Herbal Essences Hello Hydration shampoo & I'm thinking about getting this one this weekend. Will give you a review within the next coming weeks.

I love the TRESemme Heat Tamer, I use it each time I plan on flat ironing my hair. It's not that expensive either, I think it was about $4.

I hope this helps give you guys tips on some good, affordable hair products out there. I wish Mary Kay would come out with hair products, lol. Also, if you have any products that you love, please feel free to share by commenting.

A day in the life...

Oh my goodness! I don't even know how to blog anymore. I am totally out of the loop on how I used to blog, so here I am at my attempt to blog something that won't be too boring & to the point.

What I've been up to these last few weeks (gonna summarize to keep it concise):

• Registered & have still kept running for my 2nd half marathon on May 1st.

• I added 2 new recruits to my team on Mary Kay! yay! & I'm a Star Team Builder! (Red jacket)

• Went to Career Conference last week & got to walk the stage! won prizes & had the best time learning & having fun!

• Been addicted to Instagram app, posting pictures every day or every second of every day.. I don't even TWEET anymore! *gasp!*

• Dropped that zero of a guy who I was holding on to because I was fixated on the past when things were good, but the more I waited around, the worse things got & I hit my breaking point & tore him a new one & scrammed! Too much drama! ugh.

• I haven't blogged about this, but I got a new Macbook Pro at the beginning of March, yay! I got an awesome deal on it & I just couldn't pass it up. I <3 it! day in & day out. It's an awesome piece of work.

• Shoedazzle is getting all my $$$. Bought my 2nd pair of shoes the other day & they shipped out today. The shoes are purple/black & my goal is to not wear them until I get into my Mary Kay director suit at the end of June/July! Woot!

• Mannatech has been great. It's such an awesome job & I'm so thankful that I work there with amazing people. I'm hoping within a few short weeks they will make us permanent so I can get some medical benefits!

Lately, I'm not sure what it is but I just feel so grown up! must be the fact that now I'm a business owner & what not but I just feel like I'm changing into a new phase in my life. I don't even go to clubs/parties anymore & I don't miss it that much because I was getting worn out from all that, but it's a weird/different change happening in my life.

Also, I've been rekindling an old flame with the guy I was seeing last year & I'm not trying to invest too much into it because I have a lot going on on my plate, but when we're together, it's nice. Sparks fly, chemistry is through the roof & he's in a new phase in his life too.. not sure where life is taking us but we are just taking it easy. I can tell he's changed his ways a little & he's said the same about me.. so it's almost like we're meeting for the first time all over again in a different phase of our lives. Even though I dated other guys after we stopped talking late last year, I never really got over him.. which is another reason why I'm not trying to analyze things too much, but at the same time it's nice that we can pick up where we left off. I took him to the black & white ball last weekend & it's funny because that made it 1 year exactly after we met. So crazy what a difference a year makes. See pics below from Career Conference/Black & White ball & some random self portraits of yours truly :)

 
 

See the full gallery on Posterous

 

I did it! My first half marathon! <3

I am so proud of myself! I finished my first half marathon in 2:47! There were a few times where I kept thinking 'where the heck is the finish line?' LOL. It was really really long. I can't even imagine how a full marathon would be! wow. It was a lot of fun at this event because every other mile there were live bands playing music throughout the course, pumping us up. Also there were cheerleaders from different schools cheering us on.

There were about 11,000 runners! Can you believe that?! I was amazed. I placed 9,027 out of 10,969. That means I beat almost 2,000 runners! amazing. My friend David finished at 1:52 & Troy Aikman, former Dallas Cowboy player, beat him by 4 min! he said he saw Troy pass him up. I would've freaked out HAHA.

People are so creative when it came to this event, it was cute & humorous. A few girl runners were wearing tutu's, funny hats, it was interesting. Crazy people were out there too! I saw a guy running barefoot!!! o_O

The weather was perfect, even though it was a little chilly in the beginning. It was cloudy for the most part & it started sprinkling towards the end. My foot kept hurting when I was on mile 6 cuz the padding was a little off & I got a blister.. but as I kept running, it didn't hurt as much cuz I got used to it.

I'm gonna sign up for another half marathon on May 1st! it's called Heels & Hills. Cute huh? I'm gonna get creative with my attire this time around. I'll probably put ribbons in my hair.. definitely can't pull a tutu cuz I don't have stick legs.

Yay! I'm addicted to running these marathons now. My friends were right!

Happy March! <3

February was seriously the longest month by far this year. We had a ice storm/snow day the very first week of February and it put everything on hold. I was stuck at home with no tv, no internet, since I haven't gotten it connected ever since my move in December. It seems our winter really hits hard in February every year. Nevertheless, I was still able to stay productive and good things came about because of it. I am now a red jacket in Mary Kay, which means I have 3 active consultants under me, and I get to order my red jacket within the next few days. Yay! It's also nice that I get a check on the 1st and on the 15th of every month off of the percentage from their sales. Even my best friend who lives in Houston, signed up under me and she's really excited! We're gonna go to this career conference in April together, so it will be a good excuse for us to see each other. 

I signed up for a half marathon that I will be running on March 27th. That's literally 4 weeks away! This will be my first half marathon so I'm a little nervous, but I should be fine. 

I also had some eye opening experiences that all happened within the week of Valentine's Day. I did have a good Valentine's day overall, but the aftermath was just not what I had expected. It's funny that after Valentine's Day is when a lot of relationships end. Guys just don't get it!! I also think it was just bad timing. I learned that I should really guard my heart for next time because my heart took a dive and splattered on the floor. Not fun! it's like going through a mini breakup all over again. I'm done with dating! I can't bear to go through this anymore. If a guy is not gonna take me serious, then I'm out! It's just not fair when you're invested in someone, and the other person doesn't reciprocate it. Can you meet me halfway? (BEP)

Maybe one day we'll meet again...

Eve of Christmas Eve

Where do I even begin, so many things have happened since my last blog post. For starters, I moved about 2 weeks ago to my new cozy apartment. It is so much roomier, peaceful, and I love coming home to relax. I feel like I can breathe again, financially and mentally. I kick myself when I think how I could’ve moved a year ago to this place, and saved that much more money. But then again, everything happens for a reason and I don’t regret it because I felt like this was good timing. My Sebastian loves the new place too, he loves to stare out the window in my bedroom as well as the patio door in the living room.

I joined Mary Kay at the beginning of this month. I went to a party with my friend Rebekah and after we put on makeup, her director shared with us the business opportunity of doing MK, and I never heard it before and was impressed. So I joined! I thought to myself, why not? I love makeup, I love to get makeup for half price (which is what happens when you become a consultant) and I get to have parties with my friends and get them deals? Hell yeah!

I also have my own site and I offer FREE SHIPPING! so please check it out! www.marykay.com/lauramelanie

The other night my mom came with me to one of the meetings we have every week and she signed up to do it again! She used to be a consultant from when I was in highschool, and she’s excited to do it again because this time we’ll both be doing it together. My mom and I aren’t very close, so I hope that this experience will help us to be that much closer. For the new year, I really wanted to have new friends and this is definitely another way of being able to meet new people and make new friendships, so I’m grateful for that.

I also found another job, with a better company and better pay. The location is still very close to the other job I was about to take, so the pros outweigh the cons. I’m not worried about burning this bridge with the other job because where one door closes, another one opens. With this job, I will use my bilingual skills by talking to customers in Spanish so I’m really excited about that. It’s amazing how the less you practice Spanish, the quickly it is for one to forget certain words that normally would come to you. What really excites me is that this company is international and this is the first time they are launching their business to a Spanish speaking country so I will be sorta like a pioneer, being there from the beginning. I start on January 3^rd and I am ready to get back to work! I have been on this ‘funemployment’ like my friend Gaby likes to call it, for about 3 months now! 3 months vacation! Not complaining, but at the same time I need to stay busy, productive, be around people, and earn some money!!!

I am so thankful to God that everything is slowly falling back into place when at first everything was falling apart. I’m coming out of the dark tunnel and ready to let the sun shine down on me. This holiday season I get to spend it with my loved ones, and I couldn’t be happier. Life is not perfect by any means, but I feel I am such a stronger person because of these past few months of 2010. For 2011, I am starting off fresh with a new apartment, new job, new friends and the path is clear for me to take it on.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Running Girl

This past month I've been running outside, and I can't believe how much I love it. I realized today that I have missed feeling the wind outside and compared to the gym, well, there's no comparison. It definitely helps that we've been having great weather that is awesome when running outdoors. I also love my Nike Plus app that I use on my iPhone and I also log into the Nikeplus site to look at my runs, add friends, join challenges, etc. I find that it really helps me to stay motivated instead of me going out there on my own and not knowing how far I'm running. Today I ran 4 miles! and that was the furthest I've ever ran outside. I can do it no problem on the elliptical, but it just feels so much more rewarding when running outdoors.

I've been having some fun with the nike site by looking at where I'm placed on this challenge called 'From Halloween to Xmas' to see how many miles you can run in that timeframe. I'll probably end up with 70 miles on my record. Last night I looked at my place, and I was 303rd, and today I am on 289th place!

Here's a screenshot from last night--

Here's a screensaver I got to save after making my 'Mini Me' LOL

I also created a program that helps me to train for a half marathon by mid February next year. It's pretty much 12 weeks so hopefully I can train on my own and not injure myself because that would be the last thing I need.

On a side note, I'm still looking for a job. It's really tough these days to find a job. Employers are so picky, and some of them hire from within so it makes it more challenging to be able to get a foot in the door. I'm picky too, but if I don't find something by the end of this year, I'm gonna have to go work at Bebe.. LOL.

I move in 2 weeks and I need to start getting some boxes so that I can start packing early next week. I'm getting nervous because change is not something that we look to and have it bring us comfort. It takes some getting used to, but I know it's for the best.

Not dating anyone right now, but I still got my sights on papi, still. I read the book 'Why Men Love Bitches' and I wrote a review on it so please check it out! WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES - MY BOOK REVIEW. I've already applied some of the author's suggestions, and man it really works! I stopped all contact with papi, and he's been out of town for Thanksgiving so he kept blowing up my phone and then last night I finally answered his call and he was like 'OMG! You answered! where have you been? I've been worrying about you' LOL. I told him I've been busy, because I have, and it feels good to have something going for me. So he's been more attentive than the past month and it feels good to get his attention. All the while I was chasing him, and then when I stopped, he's now chasing me. That's really how it's supposed to be, but sometimes us women do stuff that we shouldn't and we get upset at ourselves at the outcome.

Anyway, I'm going to bed. Hope everyone is having a great weekend and I hope you enjoyed and had a lovely Thanksgiving! I know I did.